Monday, January 30, 2012

Is it bad for me to have this mind-set about the wedding?

When my fiancee and i went to consulted with our wedding planner, and just in general to check up and decide on things, is it ok if was just as "into" it as he was? It's hard to explain, but the lady was showing us about 5000 samples of napkins of the same color, like it was the same beige over and over again, but it had different names, butterscotch, milk-something or whatnot. I know guys typically don't know the difference and prefer to leave the details to the bride-to-be, but what if the bride-to-be is acting sort of like the guy? When the lady showed us those samples and asked me which one I liked, I laughed and said they look the same, and she stared at me like I was insane. In general all the details, flower arrangements and what not, wow I mean, I don't know what to do? Any suggestions, comments? Is this relaxed manner of mine a bad thing?

*And I'm also a girly girl, so it's not like I'm a tomboy, or "one-of-the-guys

Is it bad for me to have this mind-set about the wedding?
Haha, no. She is the one who is totally nuts!



I have the same attitude towards my wedding. I don't have a wedding planner, I have a mother and a future mother in law who are showing me all kinds of things and I say, "Oh wow, well what do you think is best?" or "I pick this one" and my mother says, "you know this one would be best let's go with this other one here." And since it's all the same to me, "Okay, whatever you think is best."



Do the same thing with the wedding planner and try to keep a straight face. Clearly this woman is a little nuts and takes weddings very seriously. Let her.



Is your attitude towards the wedding a bad one? No, certainly not! You probably have your priorities straight. Not only are butterscotch, milk-something or other the same colour or so closely related that no one would know the difference, but they are just napkins! The important thing to remember on your wedding day is your relationship. You won't be stressing over the little things and you're not getting married because of some fantasy to be a princess.
Reply:honestly this is not an uncommon feeling! i know that i hated every second of planning my wedding except the dress that was fun.. everything else really wasnt my cup of tea.. im not girly but I dont think thats the reason... a wedding a lot of work and i dont know about you but life it already hard enough picking between every shade of pink possibly imaginable is not my idea of fun... my suggestion would be keeping it simple... here is a great web site with everything you could possibly need to make your wedding easy...

http://www.weddinghelpers.cceasy.com



also for changing your name this is a must have... you would be crazy not to get this

http://www.thenamechangekit.com



hope this helps! Congrats and good luck!
Reply:Maybe you are just not a detail person. Maybe you just want to go get married, and have fun at the reception. If you dont care about the colors, decorations, etc. maybe you should let your mom and future mother-in-law do most of the planning. I am sure they would love to do it, that way you can sit back and relax a little more. You should make the major decisions like color scheme, and what food you want. Let them deal with the little details like, satin, or mate napkins, decorations, center pieces, where to put flowers etc.



You may even find that you and your fiance dont fight as much if someone else is doing most of the work for you.



Good Luck.
Reply:No, you just aren't sweating over the small stuff, which is fine.
Reply:You're fine.

i don't see why people insist on making suck a massive production out of weddings. (i've heard of weddings between normal working class people that get into the tens of thousands of dolars).

i for one salute you for not being one of the maniacs that has to have everything just so, and gets all screachy and anoying. would that there be more like you. :)
Reply:My mind boggles that anyone needs a wedding planner.



I've only done it once (I'm still on my first wife) but it seemed kind of easy.



Here's what we did.



1) We checked out a couple of venues.We found a nice place.

2) We called a caterer the venue owner recommended. 3) Picked a couple of CDs we liked

4) got some disposable cameras

5) Got a cake made. Assembled a funky cake stand for fun

6) Brought suits for best man %26amp; me. Wifey got a dress.

8) Called a guy to officiate

7) sent invites.

8) Got married.



Total cost $4k and about 4-5 days effort. Everyone figured we'd spent $40k.



No in-laws, parents or anyone else had a say.
Reply:You are refreshing. 5000 (an exaggeration but I understand) napkins all in beige would put a cow to sleep in 5 seconds. My wedding was tiny but I walked into a store, saw a choice of about 5 items, said "that's cute" grabbed one, and that was it. I did that for every choice I had to make, and you know what? Everyone had a nice time, and I am still married 14 years later!
Reply:I was SUPER laid back planning my wedding. You want to get stuff done, but don't stress about it. Everything turned out ok for me. My wedding was awesome. Let your planner know to come to you with a variety of options. Why look at the same napkin all day? If she shows you a few different styles for center pieces, you can let her know what you like from each, and figure out which one is best. She should learn to know your style. My wedding planner was amazing, knew what I liked, and didn't bother me with stupid things, but kept me informed on important things. Good Luck, and don't stress. You don't want to break out!
Reply:just pick one makes no difference
Reply:I don't think you have a bad attitude. You aren't worried so much about the details of the wedding as the strength of the marriage. I started out with plans for yellow and blue to be the primary colors in my wedding. I found a pink dress that looks so great on my Maid of Honor that we had to work pink in, too. Pink has actually become the main color. My mom has started adding some off-white and brown. It looks fabulous to me. The main thing I want to do is marry the man I love. Whether napkins are cream, or chamagne, or whatever really doesn't matter. Try to keep a straight face and let the planner do her job. You might also let her know that you trust her judgement on some things like napkins.
Reply:To me it seems like your pretty much easy going not into all that expensive stuff or fancy which is probably pricey too in other words your simple and thats cool Im the same way ! As for flowers I like white roses and baby breath thats so pretty I also think white orchids are nice
Reply:No you are absolutely normal! I'm exactly like that when choosing paint or wallpaper too... 2000 shades of off white and I can't tell the difference enough to matter!



When it comes to music I'm useless too... I absolutely thrilled my sister-in-law by letting her choose the wedding music for us because I had no idea at all besides 'here comes the bride'..



Have a great stress-free wedding by concentrating on what really matters to you and leave the picky details to the experts. Give them a budget and just tell them to do their best.. you will be their dream customer :)



Congrats on your engagement.. hope you can keep up the relaxed manner and enjoy your wedding as much as your guests will :)

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